i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
