I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
