He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize