my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize