She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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