My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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