She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
