you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
FUCK WHALES
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
