he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
