i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We left the knife in your bed.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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