I wish you could order shots online.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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