Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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