dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
