If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
