When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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