he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
