I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
