Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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