I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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