WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
