Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think I just sharted jello shots
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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