I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
