I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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