you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
