Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
