Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
