I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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