I forgot how hot balto sounded
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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