Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
