what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
