Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm going to jail i love you
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm passing your future prison.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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