I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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