Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't think brook has ever known best
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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