I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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