in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
