Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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