I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
