I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
