I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Im part way to drunk.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
