Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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