is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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