Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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