New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
