Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
