the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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