This girl is more easily done than said...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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