yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
