I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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