he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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