hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
