ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
