do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
