And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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