I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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