I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
