i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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