Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!