you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?