girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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