If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
