Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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